Transformers 2 Review (Spoilers)

Clearly, Michael Bay is not Steven Spielberg (or James Cameron or Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson-the list goes on and on and on).

The list of directors I just mentioned has the ability to blend story with spectacle, having character we actually care about facing extraordinary circumstances numerous times, but we didn't mind. Genetically engineered dinosaurs? check, robots from the future? check, elves vs. orcs vs. goblins vs. whatever? check. It's almost like conducting a symphony, the parts have to be balanced in order not to overwhelm each other.

I know he's not making Shakespeare here, but at least the first one or Bad Boys 2 had some semblance of a story in it...somewhere...this one is just confusing. You need a guide to understand what the hell is going on, I've seen it twice now and it still didn't make any sense!

I read somewhere that there's actually 45 robot characters in this one, but besides the major characters like Optimus and Bumblebee, I couldn't tell them apart. Not even Megatron, the major bad guy, he had minions that looked like him and they're jumping all over the place and I can't tell who lives and who died.

This might be because the robots are too detailed, it looks cool when they stand still but once they start moving it becomes hard to keep track. The colour also play a huge part in recognition, Optimus and Bumblebee stand out but the others are just the same grey colour (not helpfull).

To me this time around, the humans seem more interesting than the robots. Shia was funny, his roommate Leo and Agent Simmons was funny, and Megan Fox is...reliably hot. They break up the robot on robot mayhem nicely, in between the non stop running from large explosions that is hahaha.

Best Line #1:

College Guy 1 - "Is that your car? where you going freshman?!"

Sam - "I'm going to get you a tighter shirt"

College Guy 2 - "There is no tighter shirt, we looked" (fist bump)

There's some really stupid ideas explored too like the human decepticon (Isabel Lucas), how the hell do robots replicate human skin??? definitely an idea best left to the Terminator franchise.

The Autobot twins too, I've seen so much negative response against them on the net that I can't believe someone somewhere was stupid enough to even think that they were a good idea (I think it's Michael Bay's fault, even the writers of the movie are dodging that bullet and blaming him). You have robots farting, talking shit, humping legs (seriously), the list just goes on and on.

Best Line #2:

Agent Simmons - "I am standing directly beneath the enemy's...scrotum"

You really, really need to switch off your brain with this one, just have to enjoy it at face value. The hype is amazing though, look at the line of people waiting to see it: